After A Year Of Rejections And Unpaid Gigs, I Gave Up On Trying To Find A Job

It’s been a year of endless job applications, unpaid internships, and volunteer work, all in the hope that someone would finally see my potential. I did everything right – taking any opportunity that promised experience and networking, even if it meant working for free. I thought it would all pay off eventually, but here I am, still jobless. 

I saw friends getting their dream jobs, moving into fancy apartments, buying whatever they wanted, and planning for their future, while I juggled unpaid gigs, trying to convince myself that it was just a stepping stone to something better. Every time I heard “We’ll keep your CV on file” or “We don’t have any openings at the moment,” little by little my optimism eroded. 

I had done a lot to improve my skills – taking courses, attending webinars, learning through apps and platforms, and even spending money on bootcamps and training sessions. I also attended every networking event I could find and worked overtime to prove my dedication. However, when it came time for recruitment, I was always left behind. They praised my hard work, promised to keep in touch, and then… nothing. It was as if all my efforts were meaningless.  

After every rejection, I would cry for days. I also fell into a slump and couldn’t bring myself to leave my room. I started to question everything, like why it was so easy for others to find a job, but not me. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, yet I kept trying until I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t have the energy to put myself out there again, only to face the same silence and rejection. 

Now, I’ve stopped applying. The idea of starting the whole cycle all over again fills me with dread. Maybe I’m just not cut out for the corporate world. I wonder if I should try something different, like starting my own business, or find another way to make a living. But that would mean I would still have to start over again, from scratch. Right now, I’m too exhausted to decide. I just need a moment to breathe and rest. 

This article is part of TSS Confessions, a weekly column where we delve into personal finance topics that are unscripted and genuine real accounts from people.